Creative?

Sometimes, no always, I wish I was creative. For some reason or other God did not give me the gift of having a creative eye. I cannot paint. I cannot draw. I get too distracted and bored when I attempt any art project. I have to see other peoples work to get ideas for my own. I am NOT creative.

I took a class at RCC my senior year in high school. It was photo 8. Intro to Photography. I learned how to use film cameras, how to develop film, what an aperture is, how to meter, etc. The main thing I remember about that class is how impatient I am. To develop film you first have to use a black bag made for NO light to leak in, to take the film out of the canister and put it on a film real and into a different canister. Then you go into the dark room and put this canister that has my film reel into some liquid stuff and wait about 15 minutes. (I forgot a lot so bare with me) Then there are like two other liquids that it has to sit in from 5-15 minutes each. Now the film is ready to not get ruined by light. So then you cut the film into strips and put it in this oven to let it dry. So this is now about 30-45 minutes just to process the film into strips. Not even getting prints yet. Now we look at the film and choose what we want to develop and go to an enlarger. Then you play with how much exposure (light passed onto the photo paper) you need, how big you want it, make sure its in focus, and most importantly is that it is dust free.

After you expose light onto the photo paper you develop it. Again with the different liquids where you have to time it, and make sure its in the right temperature etc. Finally you see a picture and then you put it in an over to dry it. At the end you may look at it and realize there are dust spots, or its under/over exposed, its out of focus etc. Wow 45 minutes to get something that looks like crap. I am not patient enough to try again, so that sucked.

So I found DSLR (digital single lens reflex) cameras. I'm in love. I also learned more about photoshop. Even more in love.

So now I have a camera, I am getting photoshop. The only thing missing is the artistic eye. How can I find or see something that will become a cool picture? Can you learn to be creative. Is there a class. Or is it something your born with? I can try and try and try to get creative with my camera or photoshop but I never seem satisfied. (another problem is the technical side. This new camera has a lot more setting than I know so its hard to get more than just point and shoot shots)

There is a point to all this information about my thoughts. I wish I was more creative so I can use it for the glory of God. (after time in the word the other day the one verse that stuck was to do all things for the glory of God) I want to express my love for Christ through photos. but I don't know how. I want to be on the "look out" for ways to express my love for Christ and His love for us through photographs. I HAVE NO CLUE how that will work or what I will find, but its time to start thinking CREATIVE thoughts. and to just go out and shoot :)

Photoshop

So I was bored at work:

Growing?

Last night at church was amazing! Darren decided to have community time. Which I absolutely adore! He invited people to come up front and share with the church their story. He also had a time of prayer. Where complete strangers felt comfortable to stand up and ask other strangers to pray for them. How wonderful is our community that we can feel comfortable to ask for prayer when needed, to share stories with our neighbors and to have fellowship. When Darren asked for people to come share their stories I thought to myself what mine would be if I went up.

Four months ago I moved to Long Beach. I grew up in Riverside, I loved Riverside, my family was in Riverside, my friends were all in Riverside. No complaints at all about being in Riverside. But I had to opportunity to move out with friends. I like to be independent and always wanted to move out, just for the adventure of it. So when people asked me why I moved my answer was just cause there was an excuse to move out. There was absolutely no other reason to move to Long Beach, except for adventure.

So when I was thinking about my story I realized, God doesn't open doors for us for the heck of it. Theres a reason behind everything that happens. I know that I moved to Long Beach because God had a plan for me. He got me going to the Garden. He stirred my heart for serving. He placed me in an area to serve. He opened doors for me, and for a reason, not just for an excuse. He brought me here so I can grow.

Growing:

-I have the amazing community that helps my heart to stay on fire for Christ. I see things they do, or their actions and it is a fuel to my fire. I needed the family to "keep me in check"

-I have started making decisions based on Gods will and not mine. I felt the call to serve, I prayed about it. I was given the chance to help set up and tear down the church. 2 months ago I would have told God no and would have went on to seek something more "glamorous" but now I love it, I know that serving God can happen in so many different ways. I gave it all to God and am now being patient and whether God has something else for me or not I feel content with the service opportunity I have.

-I had the chance to get a job doing event ems. This is something I have always showed interest in because you pretty much go to these cool event and get paid for it while responding to injuries when needed. It sounded awesome! This job paid more than I get now, I make my own schedule and it seemed very laid back. There was nothing wrong with it. However I already work 4 days a week and so with this job I would have added at least one day a week of work. I ended up saying no to this job and realizing life is not about working so I can have extra spending money. I need more community time. More God time. More time to serve.

Thank You God for loving me so much

Thank You God for being so forgiving

Thank You God for the friends and family I have been blessed with

Thank You God for giving me a church to call home

Thank You God for life!

Relationship's

It's funny how my time in the Word always seems to reflect conversations or events that have happened recently. Last night Sara, Emma, Billy and I sat in the living room and a conversation started about relationships. It was really Billy and Sara talking about it as I listened in and Emma half slept on the couch. None the less there were some interesting things stated that I enjoyed hearing. I have started to read through 1 Corinthians. Today I am on chapter 7 and this is a whole chapter of Paul expressing opinions on marriage and relationships. One main thing he said that caught my attention was the God gave some of us the gift of marriage and some the gift of singleness. Paul has quite strong feelings about singleness as he states that being single makes it so much easier to focus on God, because marriage is a strong commitment and there is just that much to be a part of taking away from God time. As I wrote down in my notebook/journal thing about what I just read and learned I decided I would also write down how I feel about it. Half way through writing I came to a realization. As much as I would love to meet some "perfect" guy that is all I want in a relationship and is a complete possibility for marriage I have to wait. I am such an impatient person and waiting is not what I want to do. But I have realized that I need to put my trust in God and know that He knows best. I now know that the reason I am single, the reason there are no potential "guys" is because I am not ready. God knows how immature and young I am in OUR relationship. God knows how much more learning I have to do and how much closer I can be to Him with out the distraction of an earthly relationship. I do not and will not know if it is Gods will to let me be a married person when I am older but I know for now, I am not ready to have a relationship. 1 Corinthians 7: 34 says "...in the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband." I am not married AND I am not completely devoted to the Lord. I need to first be completely devoted to the Lord BEFORE he can put me into a relationship. I know for sure a relationship would be way to much of a distraction for me and so I will now work on committing myself to God. Not for the reason of reaching the goal to be ready for an earthly relationship, but for the goal to be satisfied that I have an excellent, everlasting relationship with Jesus Christ.

PS. Paul gives me assurance when he writes, "I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible." 1 Cor 7:35

Realization

The other day at work I had a depressed psych patient ask me "Are you happy?" I responded saying yes. He then asked why. I simply said because I love Jesus. And then it was quiet for like 5 mins, then he said "Was that a serious answer?" I told him yes, I am in love with Jesus Christ and He loves me. He said oh.

That made me realize, I love life. I have nothing to complain about, I have been given so much and forgiven so much. There is a great and mighty God out there and I am so lucky to know Him. :)

Wowzers- Its been a long time

So I have been lazy. Heres a recap.

-The Garden. I am in love. I only had to attend this church one time to know this is where I should be. I love the raw, new church atmosphere, but not only that the COMMUNITY that comes with it. I have learned that community is huge. I'm sick of shaking someones hand, asking about their morning, and their name, then I never see them again. At this church I get to met someone new every week. I don't remember a Sunday I have attended that I have not met a new person that is now my friend. I also have been struggling all summer long to figure out where God wants me to serve, when I moved and stopped doing jr. high at the Grove I felt an emptiness in myself that needed to be fulfilled. That emptiness was service. Well God has put me where he wants me, and its at the Garden!

-Career?School? Well I'm not doing school this semester. I had been going back and forth in my mind about what career path I wanted. (In the past two years I have gone from coast guard, to firefighting, to elementary teacher, to possibly nurse or maybe pa or maybe paramedic or just flat out being confused) I attended community college for two years, all I have to show for it is my EMT cert. I HATE school, like literally, do what I can to avoid it hate. After my first day of class, attempting to add classes, and failing I gave up. I am going to work this semester.Sweet! but not I'm even more behind on finishing school. But its okay because I have decided and am positive I want to stay in the medical field. Most likely I will go the RN route, work in ER or trauma for a bit and slowly work on my BA and eventually do my DREAM DREAM job flight nursing (trauma nurse/transport nurse in a helicopter) woot woot!!! OR another route might possibly be PA, but Im leaning towards RN right now :)

-The Fun Stuff. I got to see Paramore this last Tuesday!!!!!! thank you REL!!! they rocked. Also I will be seeing Family Force 5 this upcoming Tuesday!!!! (By far the best/most entertaining band I have seen live) Its going to be a dance party and I'm really excited. I get to go snowboarding in 1 1/2 months!!!! Mammoth opening day is November 12th :) and I have a new board and binding to ride on :))))) In less than a month I get to go riding (my dirt bike) and Im totally stoked!!! Today I bought new gear and am totally excited to use it :D AANDD: I finally am getting another dslr (camera)!!! My last one got stolen :( and I miss taking pictures so roomates beware, In two weeks there will be an immense amount of pictures being taken :p

-I Miss My People. CORRRR come back!!!!!!! Less than two months, omgosh yay! I love you and miss you. ALISHA I get to see you for 5 whole days in Washington in January. Soooo excited!!!! JANE READ come visit I miss you! and to my SPIKEY STICK (aka Alex) you have let us down a few times, you say your coming and then you don't :( please do come soon.

Wowzers. this is long. sorry if you read it all...you must be bored :)